, , ,

I gave up meat about 2.5 years ago. It was surprisingly easy.

I don’t crave hamburgers or steaks or beef fajitas. I thought about turkey on Thanksgiving day, but when the time came, it wasn’t really of interest.

Alas, I’ve not been perfect.

At first, my cravings for hot dogs were the worst. I tried a few fake ones but they just never met my need. Then this year I found a fabulous place that has the best veg hot dogs.

I’ve had fish tacos. But I can’t eat a fish filet.

For a long while, I desperately wanted a Chick-Fil-A sandwich and waffle fries. I bought one, ate half and it tasted fabulous. But I’ve not wanted one since.

But bacon. Bacon has been my most consistent craving. As of late, it’s been bad. I’m not sure why. It’s been daily. Obsessively in my thoughts. It’s even been in my dreams.

This week, I broke. I got the Bacon, Gouda Cheese and Egg Frittata on an Artisan Roll. And it was fabulous. Orgasmic. Everything I wanted it to be and more. Only, it didn’t “fix” my craving. It made it worse. I’ve had two more, plus a grilled cheese with bacon. Last night? I bought, made and ate a package of it. Yes,14 slices of BACON. And right now? Trying to talk myself out of going out for a BLT. With extra bacon.

I feel guilty. Like I have failed. I am eating an animal. Probably one that was factory farmed. Everything I am against. My primary reason for not eating meat.

I am going to spend some time now reading through the sites that helped me make the decision to go veg. Maybe the reminder of the cruelty will put me back on the path of the straight and narrow.