Yesterday mom and I were talking about a volunteer friend who recently had a stroke and is in a coma. Thankfully she has a living will, so they are just keeping her comfortable and not performing any “life-sustaining” procedures. She is 84, almost two years younger than mom.

I don’t know why, but I felt compelled to ask mom if she’s worried about leaving me. And she said yes.

I told her that I know a lot of people are worried about how I will do. That I know it will be hard and take a long time. But that I would be ok. That I wouldn’t be like Penny.  That I wanted her to know that in her subconscious. That when the time came, it would be ok to go.

But she expressed doubt. And that hurt.