To my mom when I talked about how many PVCs I was feeling. I told her I thought maybe six an hour. I knew that was low, but I also knew I couldn't keep count.

When I went to see my doctor today about a different beta blocker, I asked about the Holter. For that 24-hour period, I averaged 100 PVCs per hour.

When I asked why she went with a beta blocker instead of the med we originally discussed she said, "Because that was for anxiety, this is not in your head, this is real." Good to know.

As I mentioned here I was worried that it was just a sign that I wouldn't be able to cope with stressful life events. I am so glad it is not my mind. Crazy, I know, but I thought I was handling the life stressors pretty well. I was disappointed that there would always be some new level of freak out for me. And that's not to say that won't still happen, but at least I know I can control it with medication if I need to.

Speaking of which, I am going to try a new med for 10 days. If I still feel puny then, we agreed that I can try to learn to live with it.

Saturday, about 30 minutes into reading on the radio, I thought I was going to pass out. I just could not get enough air. I thought about telling my partner he wouldn need to finish on his own, but I just worked on my breathing. It got better, but it really wiped me out for a good part of the afternoon. I really don't want to give that up. It's something I like doing. It makes me feel like I might be making a difference in someone's life.

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